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Mom Guilt

The Inbox Hostage Crisis

July 22, 2018 by playworkrepeat Leave a Comment

Email hostage

I have two quirks when it comes to email. The first is when someone emails me (without having called or stopped by my office) and asks me to call them. Yes, thank you for proving how important you are. The second, of which I have no one but myself to blame, is an incessant need to be caught up on unread email.

To see a bold number in parentheses next to “Inbox” is like someone chewing Doritos with their mouth wide open within smacking distance from you. It drives me bonkers. At my last company, a senior executive used to send me an email and time my response for fun. I believe 2 minutes 20 seconds was his longest wait time. Yes, I have a problem.

FOMO? Maybe. A constant concern that I’m needed urgently? Likely in my own head. A detriment to whatever I am working on at the time? DEFINITELY! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been distracted during the day due to an incoming email. It inevitably leads to doing a whole lot of little things, with my to-do list for the day still outstanding. Not exactly helping me check off that productivity box each day.

What’s worse? As I eluded to in the story above about the little joke this co-worker liked to play on me, I’ve set a precedent. 3 am email replies? Check. Working through the night before a holiday on a perceived media concern? Whelp, 2017 Thanksgiving is a blur. It’s unhealthy, not motivating, unappreciated…and, now, expected.

One of the hats I wear as a marketing executive is to handle the communications for my company, which includes media relations. The turnaround time is usually immediate, so there is part of me that will always need to be connected. But I’m a mom, wife, daughter and friend…FIRST. I need to make sure those roles have their uninterrupted time and place as well. And everyone has my cell phone number — if it’s an emergency, work will call.

In the end, I recognized I had a problem and did some digging as to how I could curb my little obsession. If you’re like me and looking for a resolution, you may find some inspiration in this Daily Muse article. One of their tips is to turn off push notifications on your phone, which I will admit recently worked for me while I was on vacation. I would only check email a few times a day, which was easier to manage when they weren’t popping up on my lock screen or being pushed to my iWatch. Out of sight, out of mind. The trick is to applying it to daily life whenever possible…not just special occasions.

There are other tools I’ve been using to help increase productivity and avoid distraction — like the Panda Planner I discovered this year — but I’m taking this new mindset one day at a time. Hopefully, one day soon, I will no longer be held hostage to the unread emails in my inbox. Until then, I’ll see you on email.

Filed Under: Career Tagged With: Health, Mom Guilt, Productivity

Post-Holiday Mom Guilt

December 31, 2017 by playworkrepeat Leave a Comment

Typically I take the week preceding Christmas off from work each year to prepare for the holiday.  Unless I’ve gone full blown online retail hopping, it’s hard to finish up shopping and the million other to-dos on the list.

It’s also a chance for MC, my four year old wee man, to take life at a slower pace.  I didn’t have to drag him out of bed in the morning to go to preschool. I didn’t have to force feed him breakfast so that I knew he wouldn’t be hungry if he decided to be especially picky about lunch that day.  I dropped him off late and I picked him up early, but I did send him in to school each day…for a reason.

You see, MC is a highly sensitive little soul — and he thrives on routine.  We consulted professionals on how best to help him adapt to school — keeping in mind he has been on the daycare side of the same preschool since he was three months old — and five full days was the overwhelming recommendation. That being said, when my hubs and I went back to work the day after Christmas, I had never really given it a second thought to keep him home.  Many companies are closed (ours are not) and schools are out, so I’m not sure why I was surprised when he was one of three children in attendance out of 20 on December 26th.  Three, including him.

As we received updates from the school throughout the day on their app (OMG, I love that thing!), I noticed he was mostly alone or always at a different table instead of his assigned seat.  I know that he received more direct attention from teachers than he would have in a full room, but I couldn’t help but feel like I put my job and preparing for the holiday before my child.  And I felt like a monster.

He loves school.  He loves his teachers.  He loves me.  In the end, he was fine.  The experience was definitely a game-changer for me, though.  Next year, I will strive to do more early for the holidays instead of making every effort to please others with weekend commitments and holiday parties.  Next year, I will bookend the Christmas holiday with vacation days, or alternate days off with my husband or our parents so he gets more time off.  Next year, I’ll worry less about THINGS I should do and focus more on the PEOPLE that matter.  After all, that’s what the holidays are all about.

Now, on to figuring out what to do with all these new toys…..

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: Holidays, Mom Guilt, School

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